Light...

Your thoughtfulness came at a time when I thought the world around me was crashing down. Your caring heart brought tears of happiness to me. Something I did think would happen because the only thing I had been crying was tears of pain and hurt. Your simple act of love brought me hope. During the time when I was questioning if I did the right thing your simple act of thoughtfulness gave me strength and reminded me that I was not alone. Words can not express how thankful I am for you and your heart. Thank you for being a light in a very dark room...

Joy...

How often do you hear people say, "Megan is so full of joy"? It's more like, "Megan seems so happy". That's because happiness and joy are two different things, and more often we see people temporarily happy, rather than consistently filled with joy. Happiness is more like a mood, meaning it can change at any given moment. It is our fleshly nature that we are happy when things are going our way and if they are not, then our flesh will surely show it. It’s temporary. Joy is much more than just a feeling. It is possessing great delight and gladness. I want internal joy, not external happiness. How about you?


The Bible is always making mention of being full of joy. Even, having abundance of joy and having fullness of joy. That gives me the impression that we can have joy that is complete and be filled to capacity with it. Have you ever had all the joy that you can hold, with room for nothing else? When the enemy throws his fiery darts at you or life’s circumstances try you, the joy you have produced will not allow these things to weigh on your emotions, or allow you to be filled with worry, doubt or fear...


So, how do we produce joy in our lives? You have joy unspeakable in the presence of the Father. That is, having joy on a level that is unable to be explained. That is the kind of joy that the world and the temporary things of this world cannot offer you. "You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Psalm 16:11)." You can get in the presence of God by praising Him. The Word of God teaches us that God inhabits our praise. (Psalm 22:3). When you praise God, He is present. If you don’t know how to praise Him, the Bible even tells us how to praise God- just read Psalm 149. So, there is no excuse- if you want joy- there are detailed instructions on how to get it. Pursue it and use your joy as a witness of what God can produce in your life!


So after all of that let me explain something. I have been trying to look at my life and see why this past year has been so up and down…and why I have not been able to find Joy. So I did some reading and studying trying to find out what real Joy is and how I can find a way to bring Joy back into my life. And after this weekend I was able to find Joy again... and it was just as the word said it would be...I found joy when I was praising God...

This week has been one of those weeks that I wish I could just forget, but at the same time I have gone through things this week that I know have taught me life lessons that I am sure I will not forget anytime in the near future. I need to just lower my head, humbly fall to the floor and allow God to bring me through this point in my life that he has brought me to… I was told by someone today that not many people will have to go through what I have gone through this week and I don’t know whether or not that is a good thing or not. Part of me is thinking, God what are you stinkin crazy? There is no way I can handle all this, what in the world do you think you are doing…? And then the other part of me is thinking, thank you God for putting me in this place…I know that you would not have put me in this place if you knew I could not handle it…Thank you for giving me the courage to follow my heart even though people who I thought would walk alongside me during this have left me…

The emotions of this week have been at a level that I have never felt before. Reliving my past as I try to push through the present is something that I never thought I would have to do. But even as I had the privilege of dealing with all this “stuff” all at once I knew/know that this to shall pass. Just as my past passed my present will pass as well and the issues and events of this week will be something that I can look back on and learn and grow from. Hoping that I can use what I went through this week to help someone else when God brings them to a cross road in there life.

Throughout this week I talked to God a lot asking him questions like…
What are you doing?
Are you for real?
Why me…?
What did I do?
Are you there?
How come I can’t feel you?
Why is this so painful…?
Didn’t I go through enough of this as a kid?
Am I alone?
Am I doing the right thing?
Am I a failure?
Where do I go from here?
Was what I did wrong?
Are you listening to me!?
Are you sure you know what you are doing?
Can you handle my future?
How come I can’t hear you?
…………………………….

Throughout this week God talked to me reminding me that…
YOU ARE NOT ALONE…
I know…
It’s okay to not know…
It’s okay to cry…
You need to trust…
I am bigger then you…
This may be hard for you but this is way bigger then you…
I have control of your future there is no need to worry…
I love you...
You are beautiful when you are broken…
…………………………………………...


I have been listening to this song over and over again. It has helped me to remember that even though this week was the hardest week that I have ever had, that what I am going through will pass. :o)


Dream Big
When you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,'Cause better days are sure to come.And when you smile, be sure to smile wide,And don't let them know that they have won.And when you walk, walk with pride, And don't show the hurt inside,Because the pain will soon be gone.

And when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,'Cause it will carry all your cares away. And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,And it will help you feel okay. And when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,But when the troubles come your way.

And when you dream, dream big,As big as the ocean, blue.'Cause when you dream it might come true.But when you dream, dream big.

I want to seek you with reckless abandonment...
I want to love you even when I am not content...
I want to fall at your feet and feel your mercy's flow...
I want to be everything you want and more…
I want to know that everything is going to be okay…
I want to rest in your loving arms...

To my king who finds me in my brokenness…

In My Quiet Place...

So as of lately I have been trying to find God in the things around in me. I have been trying to put myself in situations where I am forced to not focus on what is going on with me but I am able to love and care for what is going on around me. However during this time I have also noticed a lot about who I am and what makes me do some of the things I do. I do some of the things I do to avoid the things I don’t want to deal with. I have been trying to focus on others so I would not have to focus on myself and the things that I am needing to work through. Now I am not saying that I am only loving and caring for other people because I don’t want to deal with what is going on with me that is not true at all because I truly have a passion to love and care for others. However while I was trying to find God in the things around me He was trying to meet with me…
I however was to busy looking for Him to even see Him.

This is when I learned that…

I have to have my quiet place…but more importantly I have to invite God to my quiet place. I have to be willing to stop and allow God to meet me where I am at even if I have no idea where I am. I have to be willing to just be, knowing that I don’t always have to look for God because He is always there even if I don't feel or see Him.