Just another Sunday right....I don't think so

So it’s a Sunday and that means its time to go to church… Well let me just tell you about my journey to church today…Well there was no journey at first. I am so tired of trying out churches and having to leave the church feeling worse then when I got there. Church is suppose to up lift me and make me feel like I can make it through the week cause God is on my side. And people are suppose to come up to me and shake my hand and I am suppose to leave feeling all happy and filled with warm fuzzy’s inside. Well that’s not what happens when I go to church. I don’t feel all warm and fuzzy when I go to church. SO this morning when I was getting ready for church I made the decision NOT to go to church…that’s right I said it I did NOT go to church. OOHH KNOW everyone pray for me I might be going to hell because I did not go to church today…OH PLEASE!!

Now let me tell you what happened instead of me going to church. I got in my car and drove and drove and drove. And during that time I fell even more in love with our Heavenly Father. I was able to drive down completely abandoned roads with the river on my left and see God in His creation. At one time on my drive I was able to look out my window and see that the river had reseeded so much that the roots of the trees where not covered by water and it made me think…”Look at those trees standing so tall and strong even though it is so cold outside and there roots are not being covered by the protection of the water. I wonder how they are able to withstand the elements.” After pondering that thought for a while it occurred to me that the reason the tree can stand so tall and strong is because it is growing on a firm foundation. Though the circumstances that surround the tree may change and the elements that the tree endures may penetrate the roots and the bark the tree is still able to stand tall and strong because of the foundation it grows upon. I feel like the tree is me right now. My circumstances whether it be my location, my lack of a church, fear, doubt, lack of a network, lack of fellowship, working through my past, pushing through my present, my future, soul searching, trying to be transparent and yet not scare people away…whatever it may be these circumstances just like the trees circumstances can make or break you…However just as the tree stands tall so do I. My foundation does not change even though the elements and circumstances around me may. Now I will be the first to admit that I may have a few broken branches and my roots may feel exposed however I don’t think that there is any element or circumstance that can rip me from my foundation. MY FOUNDATION IS CHRIST…

So I did not go to church this morning but I met with God or should I say that He met with me!


Now there is more to this wonderful Sunday because after the drive I was able to have a conversation with a very wise woman. I was able to ask her tough questions and get real answers. I asked her what she thought about not going to church. I told her that I felt worse after going to church then I did not going. And it was not like I was missing out of the fellowship because no one talked to me anyways. She said something to me that I don’t think I will ever forget. “You are not going to church to socialize you are going to church to worship your Father. You need to not go to church with the idea of what are you going to get out of this service but you have to go with the mindset of what can you give during the service. And you can give your heart…” YUP not what I wanted to hear but what I needed to hear. So needled to say I went to a new church tonight and I gave God my heart. It may be scratched and broken but I gave it to Him…

I know as I envision Your never ending power Your splendor is more Than I can imagine I’ve heard of Your perfections But I’ve been blind to You Open my eyes Open my ears Open my heart Unveil my eyes So I can see Your glory Unveil my eyes So I can know You’re here You’re here Your love, it overtakes me And makes me who I am As I am undone In light of Your glory Take apart this world That I have made Make this heart aware Of more than me Reveal to me the depths Of who You are And come and teach me like a child To trust Your heart