Why...

As I sit here and think about all the different thoughts going through my head one of the first things that comes to my mind is WHY GOD… why do people that love you and people that are there for you die…I feel like part of me should not be asking that question…I should know the answer…RIGHT??... However it does not take away the hurt…I have to go to a funeral tomorrow of a dear dear friend…a funeral of someone who loved me when everyone else turned there back on me…a friend who may have been 50 years older then me but she saw the good in me when my family turned their back on me…she loved me through my rebellious teenage years. She took me under her wing and encouraged me to persevere even though at times in my life at that age I did not want to. Why God do we have to say good bye… why does it hurt… why are there tears… why do we let people into our lives only to have to let them go…why…

SO many thoughts…pretty sure I just got off the phone with my family and no one wanted to talk to me…tears…

My heart is filled with thoughts right now that I don’t know how to put into words…thoughts of joy and sorrow…thoughts of wonder and worry…thoughts of praise and doubt…thoughts of longing and living in the moment… My thoughts are empty, raw, heartless, hopeful, naked, bitter, happy, sad, real…There is something about where I am in life right now that keeps me on the tip of my toes…just when I feel like life is going great God puts a gentle reminder in my way…Simply saying “come away with me child…I am not done yet.”