A season of Circumstances...

A season of circumstances…

As I take some time to look back on this past year I notice all of the different circumstances that God has put in my path. Circumstances that have brought me to a place that I never thought I would be both geographically and emotionally… And When I talk about this past year I am talking about how May of last year as I walked a crossed the staged and graduated I had my life planned out…and let me just tell you it was not a life filled with circumstances…
Circumstances such as…
Confusion
Questions
Lack of Friends
Learning to be real
Dealing with my past
Trying to figure out my present
Loneliness
Resigning from my first job
Getting in a car accident
My sister-in law having a major stroke
Moving out of my parents house
Trying to figure out who I am
Learning to be real
Taking steps in fear
Trusting God with $$$$$.... (still working on this one)
Being uncomfortable
Learning to not force the growth of fruit during a drought
Brokenness
Doubt
My Grandpa died
Learning to live ALONE…
Anger
I was robbed…
I had to love people who seemed unlovable…

The list circumstance I have gone through could go on and on but let me say one thing about all of them…I have not enjoyed any of them! But I would not change this past year for anything. Throughout this past year I have never ever felt so close to God. Though the feeling of being alone has never been more present in this season of my life, God has taught me that He is really all I need…Now I am not one to sugar coat life with flowers and candy but God is really the only reason I know that I made it through this past year.

Life sucks sometimes…Its hard! But I have learned that God is bigger then all the crap going on in my life. I am not one to let the whole world know about all the garbage going on in my life but I am making an exception this time because I know there are people who feel that they are all alone…and the truth is you may be “worldly alone”… meaning you may have no one to talk to, no one returns your phone calls, no one really cares that you cry yourself to sleep, you may not have anyone to hangout with on a Friday night… but everything just listed above is of this world. God is bigger and if I had not experienced this past year I would have rolled my eyes at you and said something like this to myself “are you kidding?!? What a joke she used the old saying God is Bigger… that makes me want to BARFF…” but it’s the truth and sometimes it does us some good to be reminded of the simple things in life and are just plain true…God is bigger…

So as I start this new season of my life…moving…networking…new jobs…alone…I know that I can do this. I may doubt and have moments of weakness but I know that in my weakness he is strong. I know that even though I may sit by myself on a Friday night that I am not alone. I know that I have passions and dreams for a reason and it is my job to not get overwhelmed by the circumstances that surround and press on toward the prize.

I want to be the spark that sets the world on fire…I want to follow my dreams and trust God with them…